Good always wins in the end...

...right? 

Just replace "Frodo and Sam" with "Auburn." 

Now imagine Minas Tirith is Auburn and Osgiliath is Tuscaloosa. Nick Saban is the Witch King and the all-seeing eye of Sauron is The Bear. 

The Dark Armies are marshaling on Pelennor Fields. The only hope is for Aragorn, the king, (Gene Chizik) along with the Army of the Dead (Chris Todd and the passing game) and Rohan (the Auburn ground game) to converge on the forces of evil in a type of pincer strategy, crushing Sauron's army and bringing about the Age of Auburn. 

All while yelling DEATH!!!11!!! DEATH!!1!!!

In unrelated news, I'm still single. Fight away, wenches*.

Here's this to cleanse the serious sports fan's palate. 

Ah, better times.

*Calling women wenches isn't going to help my cause I don't imagine. Well, maybe with sorority girls. They eat dickish behavior up. (Yep. I know.)